By Ned and Win Tuttle

The Manly Manual has been an ongoing "schtick" between Ned and I for ages so we decided  to put some of thes little gems into print. These are the satirical versions of Ned's serious ones (to be published at a later date). 

It's OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
A. when a heroic dog dies trying to save his master.
B. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
C. After wrecking your boss's car.
D. At exactly at 1 hour, 12 minutes, and 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
E. When she uses her teeth.

Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

Unless your friend murdered someone in your family, you must bail them out of jail within 12 hours.

If you've known a guy for over 24 hours his sister is off  limits,  unless you plan to marry her.

It is permissable to drink a fruity drink only when your sunning on a tropical beach... and its's delivered by a toplesss model...and it's free.

Only in situations  of moral and/or  physical  peril are you allowed to kick a guy in the  family jewels. 

Unless in prison, never fight naked.

If another man's fly is down, it's his problem, you didn't see anything.

Never talk to a man in the restroom unless you are equal footing: i.e. both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, the very slight head nod is all the conversation you need.

Thou shalt not purchase a motor vehicle in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,  orange, or sky-blue.